Something for the Weekend 24/03/20

by Chris Proctor


Hello WhatsApp group. Jenny M at 44 here, and local cllr. For those who don’t know ‘Cllr’ is an abbreviation for councillor! We are being briefed later today about help for vulnerable residents. I will update you all when my meeting is finished. 


Hi guys. I would like to help anyone who needs shopping or chats. Louise at 39


Peeps might be interested in this link warning of coronavirus hell. Peter P at 33.  


Does anyone know where I can find a Deep Cleaning service? Jason, 52. 


That link you sent is to a page of the Sun. As a council we are boycotting the Sun. I rather hoped we all were. Today’s meeting cancelled. Cllr J.


I think Bruce has a Karcher. FG. 17


Should he see a doctor? Peter P


I’m advised the surgery is closed. Jason. 


I don’t think this is the time to be telling people what newspaper they should read. At a time like this, tolerance would be more appropriate. Louise at 39.


This may be a good time to tell you I am posting 5 minutes of Viral Mindfulness each day this week to help everyone through. It’s on Instragram. Michelle. 


Morning everyone. I have a Sunday Ocado delivery. Any self isolators can tell me if they need anything.  58. 


Hello, random request! Can someone with imminent supermarket order add Vanish stain remover? Thanks a lot. Jason


This is Nell at 19. I’m going to take donations to the Peat Hollow food bank every Thursday morning at 10am. Will people leave donations outside their door so I can pick it up on Wednesday evening. I will wear a mask.


Would the person with the camper van move it up the road a bit so I can charge the car? Bruce.


Have you seen this? It’s a sign we drove past on our way to our cottage in Devon. ‘Please turn around and fuck off until the coronavirus is sorted.’ I mean, how welcoming is that? Country folk are so selfish! Larry 36a


Brill! We all feel the same here in Norfolk. Sorry I didn’t have time to say goodbye but you all know Bert, and at his age we didn’t want to take chances. He’s the best collie we’ve every had. May, 22. 


You’d think they’d be grateful to have us in Devon. When Londoners arrive it increases the area’s IQ by 50%! Larry 36a


From a friend of a friends husband ….. Dear All. My husband Simon is a Consultant Anaesthetist in an Intensive Care Unit. He has been working 20 hour shifts and says admissions are increasing sharply. He has asked that we all help by isolating ourselves with our immediate families and  DO NOT socialise with anyone else, even other family members, and especially the elderly. 58


I think it is horrible of Larry to be so rude about people from Devon when we are all supposed to be pulling together. My mother is from Devon and is 89. FG 17


Oh, come on! You were the knob asking for spot remover at a time like this! Larry


I am so sorry I no longer live in the area or I would have very happily contributed to the Food Bank. I lived at 47 for over 20 years and have many happy memories. Lily, Kent


It wasn’t me asked about the spot remover! It was Jason. FG 17


I’ll drive to the Food Bank on my own. I think it’s safer. Don’t forget! Please leave your donations on your doorsteps on Wednesday nights. Thanks Nell, 19


It isn’t nice to be called a knob. I was trying to save a treasured cashmere pullover and making a point about pulling together. It is very upsetting to find my mother called an idiot. I’m leaving the group. Jason


Oh no! I’ve spend half the morning digging out my steam cleaner for him! Can someone near 52 put a message through his door? Or does anyone else want to borrow it? Bruce


I also have a semi-professional friend who can do on-line Tarot readings if you feel the need. Michelle 


Latest! We are to be designated an area of great risk. I have no details what this means but as soon as I have the minutes I will post them here. Cllr J.


I will read what I want at a time of crisis, Councillor. Bully. PP 33


So: Wednesday evening. Don’t forget! Let’s all stick together! Nell


Chris Proctor has been head of communications at ASLEF and the Communication Workers Union, written for the Sunday Times, The Guardian, the New Statesman and Tribune, and is a columnist for the NUJ’s magazine The Journalist.

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