Tory Tricks, Labour Treats

by Ian Lavery

Up and down the country this evening, people will be opening their doors and screaming at the sight of the ghouls in front of them – Tory MPs.

Not content to have turned our government into a zombie parliament, they’ve dispersed to spread the toxic gloom across the country.

If only this was a matter of trick or treat. But with Tories, there’s never a treat.

It’s not your sweets they’re after, but your healthcare, pensions, livelihoods, dignity, and anything else not nailed down.

Tories possessed by the demons of greed and vanity, we the electorate at least have the power of exorcism at hand. Just like in the movies, it’s the power of a cross that does it – one in the box next to your local Labour candidate.

Come election night, you can watch the power of all those crosses at work, as the blood drains from their faces and they go back to being hedge fund managers or bored petty nobility. Perhaps one or two might turn into bats and fly back to their castles.

The fact of the matter is, there is no bogeyman concocted in fiction as scary as the reality a decade of Tory governance has given us.

Werewolves don’t sanction mothers and leave them and their children to starve.

Mummies don’t cut safety regulations, fire services, then feign sorrow when dozens die in an inferno.

Vampires wouldn’t privatise our NHS and its blood banks!

Halloween is a break from the nightmare that is the real monsters we live with, an amoral Tory government with no scruples, that will lie lie lie to get what they want, and won’t stop until we, those who make everything, have ourselves nothing at all.

Par for the course with Tories, but we are nine years into Tory misrule, and their extortion routine is reaching its climax.

All that we have worked for, as individuals, as a class, as generations of Britons, is at risk. People have sweated blood and died before their time for us to live with a modicum of dignity and self-respect. We are perhaps one election away from those millions of sacrifices for a better tomorrow being for nothing.

They will try to frame this election as being about Brexit – when their leader is a man who only believes in Brexit to further his own career. Why would anyone trust a man who wrote two letters – enthusiastically backing leave and remain, before sending the one that benefitted him the most – to use Brexit as anything but a tool to feather his own nest?

A Tory Brexit is just the means for tory ghouls to raid what little they haven’t already stolen from the British people. Whether you want Brexit or not, leaving the process to these amoral, lying, careerist spivs, is beyond dangerous, it’s deranged.

Not even the Brexit Party trusts Johnson or the Tories to deliver. If Farage can smell a rat – and it must have been a shock when he realised that for once it wasn’t him – shouldn’t the electorate smell a rat, too?

This election will be spun by the Tories as a Brexit election, when it is no such thing. All Johnson has managed to deliver so far is an extension he claimed he’d rather die than ask for, and a series of defeats that takes the titanic shamelessness of Johnson not to resign over.

All Tories have to offer this election is tricks – they’ll lie about protecting services while stealing them from us. They’ll tell us this is about Brexit to cover up their intellectual bankruptcy and lack of any decent policy. As tricks go, it’s a tired one, it’s the same May tried in 2017.

In reality, this election will be as all others are, the option to pick treats. An expanded – saved – NHS, services brought back from breaking point, made stronger than ever. The building of housing, infrastructure, and the re-nationalisation of the utilities Tories stole from us a generation ago.

The treat we are being offered is the fruit of our labour. The trick we are being offered is smoke and mirrors promises made by charlatans even other charlatans don’t trust. No honour among thieves indeed.

After Halloween, comes All Souls Day, where we remember those who came before us. Those millions gave us the NHS, the welfare state, social housing, nationalised utilities that they built. Let’s forget the Tory Halloween ghouls and remember those who toiled so we would have something of our own.

Let’s vote for a better tomorrow by remembering the sacrifices of yesterday. Let’s not sacrifice a better tomorrow to buy lies of an imaginary yesterday.

Ian Lavery is the Chairman of the Labour Party.


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